Your dadu...

Little mushroom, your dadu is working so hard, you can be so proud of him. 

He is putting his head down to complete his degree, and I know he wants to be out there in the world building his ideas into our reality, so it's hard for him some days.

But we believe in him, you and I, his girls! 

And because of that he will do it all time. 

xxx Love you, and your dadu, so much.

Mamu

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry for last night and this morning little one. I know it affects you when I'm stressed. I'm trying, but sometimes it gets hard out here. I don't want it to be like this for you babu, I only want the very opposite. I'm going to try harder and do everything that it takes to get our lives to a place that is more peaceful and happy.

Love you so very, very much.

Mamu

I can see you!!!

Hello little one! 

I can see you! 

Finally! 

I can see your little head and arms and legs and feet. Your feet are way up over you head, what are you up to little peanut? 

Except you are no longer a peanut! 

You are a little girl! A precious little girl. 

I know this for sure now, after our 20 week scan. 

I am so excited! I cannot think or speak about anything else! I must be driving everyone crazy. 

I wish I could explain the feelings I felt watching you on that screen. How my heart felt when your little hand came up to the screen, as if reaching out for dadu and I. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch you and let you know that I am here. Always right here. 

I hope I am looking after you ok?

I hope that the stresses of our everyday life are not affecting you? 

It has been a difficult time in many ways and I prey that somehow in your little bubble you are immune to all these meaningless trivialities that weigh down on our shoulders out here in the 'real' world. 

I question which world is actually real, yours or ours?

But I do know how real you are already to me.

You have been since the moment I discovered you were a little bean sprout in my belly waiting to send out your first shoots.

Dadu and I already have a name for you. I won't write it here yet as maybe you will let us know differently over the next 4 months. 

We love you babu. So very much.

Your picture is on my desk to help me get through each day until you come. I find myself staring at all the tiny parts of you in wonder, wondering who you are. 

You are so cute and beautiful. I talk to you and touch my belly in hope that you hear my voice and feel my touch.

I am preparing for your birth already. I want to be strong and present so that I can bring you into the world in the way that you deserve.

You are life after so much loss. 

You are a second chance in my life.

Dadu and I prepare and wait little one.

And dream...

the life out here

Dear Babu!

Hope you are well and enjoying the vast space (it is only going to get smaller). You are 21 weeks old around now, plus/minus a couple of days.

In a weeks time we will know whether you are a boy or a girl. It does not matter what sex you are to us, your parents, though all we wish for is that you are healthy and happy where are you are right now. We cannot wait to see you (only through the scan for now) and are even more excited when you arrive sometime in late January.

Your mamu is in bed, sleeping with you sleeping in her. Your dadu just finished an assignment and is doing a wee bit more studying as he has a massive exam this saturday to become a solar hot water certified installer.

Hope you are enjoying every minute of the life in there, in your mama's belly. Hope you enjoy the touch and our voices, hope you feel the love and hear the loughter and sweetness of your mother's voice.

We love you very much!

Sleep beautiful dreams my angels!

dad

Sept 6th, yoga, walk on the beach and Al green

Dear Babu! 

I am sorry that you might have been bugged by loud music tonight. But we hop you enjoyed the dance, the love and the music.

You have just been to Al Green Live concert! 

We love you a a lot already, although only 19 weeks old, and hope that you are doing well down there, that we are treating you nicely and that we are looking after you well. Like we feed you yammy foods and drinks, spend time with you, laugh with you, and adore you and await you. 

You will be with us around the 30th of January or first week of february. We don't know what sex you are but we shall love you no and support you no matter what sex you are, babu! 

Love you loads, 

dadu

xxx